It's getting to the tail end of the year. I can see telltale signs, I tell ya...

As we've arrived at the second half of the year, it's getting close to the golden season of game releases. This year there are no less than 10 games on "must have" list getting releases between September and November, as gaming publishers are no doubt pointing guns at peoples heads to reach those deadlines. Since I've been a good boy this year Santa, I've been leaving accidental notes around the house containing games that I might like, hint hint.... What? Budget cuts? Paper machè ornaments again? (Who needs Santa anyway. The street corner is all I need....)

A "skit" is supposed to be funny.
These ones are just lame.

This time next month Tales of Xillia 2 will be released. I guess some fan boys will be happy.

I've always found Tales to be really middle of the road, not terrible yet not great either. It screams "me too". A typical Tales conversation goes something like

Male char: ...

Female char: Something wrong, Male char?

Male char: It's... it's nothing..... C'mon, let's go.

Female char: Male char........

*gif of me hurling into a bucket*

Of course, despite owning several of the games in the series, I actually have only played a few of

The infamous scene.

them, so all of this could just be some made up crap in my mind. So without further ado, I will tell the tale of me and the Tales series.

Picture it. Sicily. 1929. Picture it. Late 90s. At home. During the era where I, like many others, discovered the power of emulator and the rom. Tales of Destiny for the PS1 was released (I've never owned) but everybody was talking about the Japan-only first game of the series, Tales of Phantasia for the Super Famicom. I fan translated patch for Tales of Phantasia was released which took the rom-playing community by storm and everyone and their kid brother jumped on the ToP bandwagon. I did too. The battle system was still considered "fresh". While the translation team took some liberties (the infamous Arche's dream orgasm scene comes to mind) it was serviceable. At the time I liked the game, but I didn't get too far into it before moving onto bigger releases on the PS1.

My next exposure to Tales was Tales of Symphonia for the Nintendo Gamecube, which was the first Tales game I've purchased, around its release mid 2000s. I wasn't wowed. As a matter of fact I couldn't figure out how to change the character to control in battle so when Lloyd died I'd have to rely on the AI to finish the fight (or more often than not, rage quit). I had even consulted the game manual and didn't find how to change charters in battle. I thought maybe it was a game design decision to not allow character switching. Because I couldn't get over this, I had only played about 5 hours of ToS. I later found out how to switch characters from the forum, which just felt really unintuitive and backward, especially considering its rival Star Ocean 3 on the PS2 (released around the same time) was easy and obvious. But never the less, I've not made any further progress on ToS.

Its lines like this that made the
fan patch popular.

Since then I had purchased just about every Tales game, even though I did not exactly have the best experience with the series. Why? As I've said before I am a shopaholic and I need professional help.

My next venture into the series was circa 2007-ish. I had purchased Tales of Phantasy Complete Voice Edition for the PSP on same for cheap, so I decided to go back to its roots and play the games in order. I didn't dislike ToP so I thought this is gonna be good. Game was in Japanese but there was enough translation guides online I was able to get through it ok.

It started ok.... but they more I played the more annoyed I was. While the graphics look like a fresh coat of new paint, the battle system still feels antiquated and prototype-ish. There was no manual mode, and that whole "running forward to strike and running back" thing got on my nerves. WTF. It was inefficient and productive, not to mention it gives bosses time to recover and kick your arse! I skipped most of the end game optional content and went straight to the last boss, trying to get this over and done with. The last boss was where the crappy arse battle system rears its ugly head. The boss would cast nasty spells that would kill most of my team (possibly partially my fault, since I didn't do any optional content to level up) and the only way for me to stop him from doing that was using Cless to disrupt his casting, but because he kept insisting on running back to his starting position it was hard to keep on the pressure. You can sorta interrupt Cless' run but it still costs precious seconds. I also used the default mages team (Mint, Klaus, Arche) and their spells wouldn't interrupt the bosses' casting. Maybe I should have used Chester and Suzu. I never did manage to beat the last boss but I was so over this game. I've never gone back to it. Funny thing is, so many people moan about how this game was never released in English. I think they would change their mind if they did play it. Or maybe not, since I can't seem to tolerate as much crap as I used to.

A couple of years later I played Tales of Eternia on the PSP. It was ok... not particularly interesting

Meh. Indifference is worse than hate.

but still felt like it dragged on a lot. This one I did beat but I don't remember much of it. I wouldn't play it again.

So why am I posting about this? Well, a couple of days ago I just started playing Tale of Legendia on the PS2. I was um-ing and ah-ing about it for a while. I've checked out Youtube videos on Graces and Xillia and hey both look fun, but I didn't want to break my "play them in order" schedule, ESPECIALLY since the next one in line was Legendia. I had heard that Legendia was "bare bones" and the black sheep, and really should be played before any of the newer Tales games (hence I am slotting it before Symphonia even though Symphonia technically came out before). So far, it's actually a lot better than I expected. I am actually enjoying the game. Fighting can be a little repetitive at times but the character interactions are a lot of fun and I am finding myself laughing out loud at times. Only at chapter 3.

Will I be able to complete this game or will it send me into a murderous rampage? We will see.

I'm not dead...

I'm not dead just gloating.

...just infringing... again. And stuck in the analogue age. Since the last time I graced the blog with my presence I had bought a house. And took about a month to get internet set up. And non activity caused by chronic sloth. I've literally been sitting on my lard arse playing lots of games, which is what I prefer to do when I'm not writing and/or talking about games.

So what's happened since I've been away. Lots. First of all I've taken a leap and stepped into the current generation with my very own Playstation 4 and it's awesome! Apart from handheld devices (I got both Vita and 3DS on launch week), this is the quickest I've bought a new console since launch. So here's the story. About a month ago I was getting sick of RPGs (again) and losing the will to play any of my games as they were just getting stale, so I started looking around for alternative games to try out.

Glad we got this....

I had heard of the Dynasty Warriors series before but never actually seen it in action, so I decided to investigate. After discovering there's been 8 main instalments, plus Xtreme Legends and Empires expansions, I was even more confused on where to start. So after even more research (and more confusion) I thought might as well start with the latest instalment. So I was checking out the PS3 version of Dynasty Warriors and then finding out you also need Xtreme Legends for the full experience, I was wondering if the whole ordeal was worth it. Then I discovered it was also released on the PS4 as a "complete edition", not to mention better graphics and performance, and I was sold! So I ordered the PS4 and the game... but before checking out Dynasty Warriors 7 first, as I was told 7's story was better, and it certainly was. But anyway, thoroughly enjoying DW8. I've been playing it for 3 weeks straight and still haven't finished all the story mode. So far favourite character is Yue Jin... even though in pinyin (Mandarin phonetic pronunciation) his name could mean "women's monthly", and I ain't talkin' about the magazine, if you get my gist. So sometimes I see his name and it grosses me out, but still like him.

....and not this!

So what else have I played in the game were months. Played "that giant boobies game". Yes I know those are a dime a dozen these days, but I'm talking about Dragon's Crown. It's pretty fun, but I can see it'll get seriously repetitive, but still fun in short bursts.

Bought a THIRD PSP. Yes I need to call the shopaholics hotline desperately, but I saw a 1000 series phat in its original box at the used game store over the weekend for $80, and the price was right and my wallet did the talking. Turns out some girl named Shelley owned it previously, and had save data from like Disney's Cars and Buzz. Yeah, obviously no taste in games. But heard the phats were very moddable so better snatch it up before they go extinct.

If it's not big boobs it's open legs. Don't get TOO
excited little Johnny, can't you see she's wearing a
chastity belt!

Got myself a second Vita, OLED of course, not the el cheapo LCD screen. Again, before they go extinct as well.

And... uh. Been thinking about starting some Let's Plays, hence my desperate attempt at salvaging this blog... uh.. I mean... this blog could come in handy... yes.......

And with that I bid you farewell. Until next time, take care of feminine hygiene. *Lucille Ball "UUUUUUUGH......."*